Tears

It's Easter Sunday, and I'm emotional.

That's really saying something, because I'm not the type to show much emotion. I'm the steady one in the crowd. I don't go "ooh" and "aah" over much, I rarely raise my voice, and in general I'm just fairly unmoved by most things.

I rarely cry. Even when I'm watching a sad movie or television program, I don't cry. I'm not sure I'd go so far as to say I've never cried over a movie or show, but I'd be hard pressed to remember such an occasion. To me, things just aren't sad when they aren't real. Even when a scene reminds me of something that was real, my brain reminds me that what I'm watching isn't real, so it's not sad, so I don't cry.

But today, I'm emotional. I woke up thinking about the wonder of this day, and the reality of what Jesus Christ did for me, and the emotion of it all has been overwhelming. At Mass I listened to the words of our priest, and I was moved to tears. My tears were the joyful kind. I wasn't sobbing, and it wasn't the kind of crying in which my nose got puffy and needed to be blown. I guess you could say I was weeping - gently releasing a stream of tears that seemed to be my soul's way of dealing with the fact that I've received a gift I cannot repay.

As the day has gone by, I've talked to various family members all across the country. We've shared Easter greetings, laughed, discussed politics, and just enjoyed our conversations. I didn't cry, even though I miss my family. Maybe this morning's tears have left me all "cried out" for the day.

Or maybe not. After dinner tonight I was watching the Masters golf tournament. I actually enjoy watching golf, even if some people do compare it to watching grass grow. It was actually a battle to the end, with two competitors going into a sudden death playoff. When the winner made his final putt, he turned to receive a hug from his caddy. His emotions took over, and he broke down in tears. You could actually see his upper body shaking even though his head was buried  into his caddy's shoulder. His family members were there to hug him, along with many of his close friends, and at times the camera would zoom in on this display of raw emotion. It was all very real.

And so I cried.